Old Chinese
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Chinese Au Pairs on the Rise
Overview of Chinese Culture and People
The Chinese government opened its doors to foreign business in the 1970s and has not looked back since. Business is booming and statistics show that by 2025, China will be the world's largest economy! China has low unemployment due to their strong economy and a growing number of au pairs do not have difficulty paying fees to sign up with au pair agencies. China is known as a state of etiquette and ceremonies. Courtesty to others, especially one's elder, is still very important in Chinese culture. The "one child only policy" still exists in China, so remember most, if not all, au pairs are an "only child" and are not used to large families with sisters or brothers.
China's economic miracle impresses all those who travel there. As you stroll through major cities, you will see signs of progress everywhere: tall new office buildings, posh five-star hotels, gleaming, new and high-spead trains and modern and sleek airports, fancy residential towers and beautiful shopping malls that offer all the newest designer "goodies." However, despite the new, rich and modern China, there is significant poverty for most of the population. Because of a vast disparity of income levels and a developing "class" system, most au pairs will have difficulty finding the money to pay for program fees. So, we expect that most of the Chinese au pairs arriving in the U.S.A are from the new and prosperous families who have the financial resources to foot the bill to send their daughter to America.
Motivations for Becoming an Au Pair
The top number one reason Chinese girls become au pairs is to improve their English. They are also looking forward to taking college credits at American universities improve their job potential and career possibilities when they return home. Chinese au pairs expect to travel and have the opportunity to experience American culture.
Chinese Characteristics and Manners
- Chinese are hard working, easy going and cooperative.
- Chinese youth are respectful of their elders and are greatly influenced by parents' opinions and beliefs.
- Chinese consider gifts as an important part of showing courtesy. They give gifts on special occasions such as Chinese New Year, festivals, weddings, birthdays or visiting grandparents or the sick.
- It would be a sign of courtesy and an important gesture if you gave your au pair a small gift upon her arrival and don't be surprised if she brings gifts for the entire family. There is an old Chinese saying "blessings come in pairs" so it would be appropriate to give your au pair two gifts but never give her anything in fours - the number four reads like death in Chinese, so avoid this number.
- Many Chinese still bow when introduced but most youth tend to simply nod as a greeting and shaking hands is more popular now in business or in formal situations.
- Chinese speak Mandarin as their official language.
Childcare Background and Experience
Because of the one-child-only policy in China, most au pairs do not have experience with siblings and all that comes with being a sister: learning to share, considering another's feelings, waiting for one's turn, and sharing parents' attention. The "Only Child" has gotten a lot of attention in psychology and there are two predominant theories: the first theory, first presented by psychologist G. Stanley Hall, gives these children a bad reputation when he described their situation as a "disease in itself." Only children were characterized as spoiled, selfish and bratty. Some psychologists believe that only children, who have no competition from siblings for parents' attention, are pampered and spoiled by their parents and that this could lead to interpersonal problems later in life (i.e., the only child will expect others to treat them as "special" compared to other people).
The second and more current theory says only children are no different from their peers with these exceptions: only children are higher in achievement motivation and often test higher in verbal ability (much like first born children who get more time with parents before the second child arrives). In his recent book, Maybe One, author Bill McKibben says "only children" are more likely to adjust better in new situations and more likely to make friends compared to "non-only children". So, what does this mean for you as a prospective host parent? Your Chinese au pair may indeed feel "special" and at the same time, she may be very bright, make lots of friends and adjust better to a new culture and show less signs of culture shock. This is good news for you and your family!
Discipline in China rarely includes corporal punishment - parents talk to the child, explaining what they did wrong, how to make amends and then leaving them alone to think about their behavior with the expectation the child will correct his mistake on his own because that "is the right thing to do."
Education
Au pairs from urban areas are more likely to attend college compared to those au pairs from the country. If Chinese youth do not attend college, they get a job and start working after High School.
Chinese au pairs will be very motivated to attend college courses here in the USA so make sure there is enough time to register them for the fall semester and that your family schedule allows them to get to school on time.
Potential Strengths of the Chinese Au Pair
1. Bright, eager and willing to work hard.
2. Well mannered and respectful of host parents and elders.
3. Can expose your children to the Mandarin language.
4. May adapt quickly to a new culture without significant homesickness or depression.
Possible Weaknesses of the Chinese Au Pair
1. May have weak driving skills and uncertain proficiency in English.
2. May not be used to large families and become overwhelmed with lots of children.
3. She may not be accustomed to American children, who are generally outspoken and direct (she may interpret this behavior as "rude" or 'inappropriate"). Be patient, have a sit-down with her and explain the cultural differences between American and Asian children.
4. She may be very quiet in the beginning and you may feel she is not happy, but be patient and usually she will begin to open up as she gets to know and care for your family.
About the Author
Tough old Chinese man takes on 14 thugs
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